COCONUTS CRITIC’S TABLE – Hong Kong’s food scene is, for want of a better word, hyperactive. New restaurants are popping up incessantly, each trying harder than the last to cash in on the trendy Sheung Wan fusion template synonymous with veteran Yardbird and newbie Mrs. Pound. See the Fuck Yeah Noms Hipster HK Food Trend Generator to get the idea.
Crafty Cow also ticks the additional box of having an animal namesake (Yardbird, Little Burro, Salted Pig…I could go on). However, its choice to describe itself as a “third culture gastropub” (good PR job, props to Coco Alexandra) struck a chord, as did their frankly bomb-ass sounding menu.
My best friend and I spent the better part of our teenage years between Hong Kong and the UK, alternatively hankering for dim sum or banoffee pie whenever it was least convenient. Seriously. We pretty much legged it to Crafty Cow immediately after hearing the words “duck poutine”.
Full disclosure: we were so hungry that we may have tried to get into the restaurant via the glass walls facing the street, instead of through the more discreet but distinctly door shaped, um…door, on the side.
The dining area is fairly small, since about half of the restaurant space is taken up with a large, open plan kitchen. Most tables are only able to seat groups of four, but larger groups can perch at the high table near the door or along the bar. There are shelves of different craft beers, ginger ales and artisanal soft drinks to choose from, some of which are used in the cooking.
After a quick look around the space and a big swig of Brothers Toffee Apple Cider (HKD78, a bottle, not a swig), we got cracking on our first dish, the Numbing Bone Marrow (HKD108) – broiled bone marrow with Sichuan pepper-infused butter, garlic and herbs, served with tiny pieces of toast.
I used to think roasted bone marrow on toast was something that couldn’t be improved upon, but this seriously blew my mind. The spiciness of the Sichuan pepper cut through the rich fatty goodness of the bone marrow perfectly. My only complaint was that I brought someone to share it with.
Our next victim was the Duck ‘Poutine’ (HKD98) – scare quotes because it contains basically none of the usually essential ingredients. Traditional Quebecois poutine, king of all drunk foods, is made with fries, cheese curds, and a light gravy, whereas Crafty Cow’s take features crispy homemade Spätzle (German egg noodles), duck confit, duck gravy and a trio of cheeses.
The choice to use duck and Spätzle was a great one, and we polished off the dish without the stodgy feeling normally associated with a 3am poutine binge. The dish was mostly successful, but we concluded that it could have done with a touch more gravy for flavour, although the option to “pimp up” your poutine with seared foie gras (+HKD38) would no doubt negate that issue.
Continuing with the duck theme, our next dish was Duck and Foie Gras Gyoza, served with a Spicy Ponzu dipping sauce (HKD98). While “foie gras dumpling” sounds like the foie xiao long bao at Man Mo Café (check that shit out, people), the execution was completely different, with the gyoza made of thicker skin and pan fried. It was bolder and brasher than its Man Mo counterpart, but Crafty Cow is a gastropub, not a dim sum house.
There’s less room for subtlety here, which is why we were slightly confused when we heard people grumbling that the foie gras flavour wasn’t pronounced enough.
I still found the taste pretty distinctive, but if you don’t like the foie flavour being diluted in any way, I’d suggest giving the spicy ponzu dipping sauce a pass, or perhaps stop missing the point of third culture dining.
I have no such qualms and dunked my gyoza in the ponzu until they were sufficiently soaked, and can happily report that it was really bloody good.
At this point, we decided to sample some more from the Cow’s extensive drinks menu, and tried the Bling Bling Imperial IPA beer on the recommendation of Tomi, one of the owners. Imperial IPA indeed – it was super hoppy and pretty damn strong at 8.5 percent alcohol content. As I said, no room for subtlety here.
Moving onto the heartier portions of the menu, we had the Oxtail Chilli (HKD138), an elevated take on chilli con carne with the oxtail smoked in Big Smoke (craft beer from London), mixed in with sweetcorn and beans.
The oxtail was lovely and tender, and the sweetcorn provided a nice crisp element to the otherwise rich chilli. The flaky but dense scallion biscuits on the side proved a pleasant riff on the typical tortilla chips.
Next came the baos. Baos are EVERYWHERE nowadays, but if you don’t want to dedicate your entire meal to them, the baos at Crafty Cow come in a more manageable slider size. You can also “build your own bao” with a variety of meat, veggies and sauces.
We tried the Pork Belly Baos with Pickled Cabbage and XO Sauce (HKD128 for two), but we’re already sizing up the other options for our next visit because they all sound intriguing as hell (Beef Short Ribs, House Kimchi, Sambal Mayo…).
The buns were fluffy but strong enough to hold it all intact, which bodes well for the clumsier eaters amongst us. Even though the portions were on the smaller side, there was a strong enough contrast in the texture of the pork belly, crunchy cabbage and the crispy bottom of the bao to ensure no components were lost. Additional points for the well balanced fat-to-meat ratio with the pork belly.
Apparently the pork belly is braised in the Brothers Toffee Apple Cider we were still nursing, so we cracked open a bottle of the Rogue Hazelnut Brown Nectar (HKD68) for some contrast. It went down worryingly easily.
At this point, a bowl of seemingly harmless breaded meat appeared at the table. One quick glance at the menu confirmed that, yep, we had actually ordered a bowl of balls (HKD138) … specifically, panko battered bull’s testicles, served with chimichurri sauce.
Bull’s testicles are commonly referred to as “Rocky Mountain Oysters” for their silky texture. The “oysters” were served in bite sized portions, ostensibly to facilitate easy consumption, but also probably to ease anyone’s worries about popping a bollock in their gob.
In case you’re wondering, they were a lot like Japanese style deep fried oysters, but the use of chimichurri instead of tonkatsu sauce made the whole dish kind of reminiscent of Italian fritto misto.
Finally, we had the eponymous cow – a 3oz portion of Australian Wagyu Hanger Steak (HKD168), served with Korean BBQ, yuzu ginger, miso hollandaise and sherry brown butter sauces, as well as Hawaiian red salt, charcoal black salt and Fleur de Merlot.
The steak was beautifully cooked and went especially well with the charcoal salt and sherry brown butter, the latter of which had a lovely aftertaste I can only describe as ‘warm’ (sorry!). My friend enjoyed the Korean BBQ sauce most, and while we didn’t dislike any of the other sauces and salts, we felt that there were too many for a single portion of beef.
All in all, the cow was definitely worth waiting for (and naming the restaurant after!) and we left Crafty Cow with an excellent first impression. We would however suggest taking a long walk afterwards to shake yourself out of the inevitable food coma.
Crafty Cow is not for the faint hearted, faint stomached or food purist, but if you’re part of the third culture club or just feeling foie deficient, you should definitely join the herd.
Crafty Cow, GF, 3-3A Upper Station Street, Sheung Wan (+852) 2915-8988. Opening hours, 4pm – late Tuesday to Saturday, 11am – 7pm Sunday, Monday closed.
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