A Hong Kong summer is a unique experience. The air conditioning bill gleefully drains your bank account like a super-efficient plug hole not blocked with hair, leaving your tight-fisted side with no option but to attempt a life au naturel.
Inevitably, this fails after one evening of sweating it out in front of a fan in your living room/sauna. There’s nothing quite like being slapped in the face with a double-whammy of heat and humidity, is there?
So we’re back to square one. The air-con is on, but what about the great outdoors? It’s a difficult climate to handle elegantly, but we wouldn’t be seen dead carrying one of those naff rechargeable electric fans that EVERYONE now has.
Thankfully, we’ve compiled a list of tips to help you navigate your way through this scorching season in style:
1/ Ice coffees all the way. Because those people who say drinking hot drinks in hot climates cools you down are just downright wrong. The morning commute to work in 34°C heat is categorically not helped by a steaming Americano. It simply compounds the overheating issue.
2/ Discard all grey items of clothing. It amazes us how many people still take the risk/didn’t get the memo. It’s tried and tested, and nobody has ever come out of summer in grey looking anything other than sweaty pit monster.
3/ If you pass a shop with particularly strong air conditioning, pause thoughtfully and relish the cooling breeze. You can’t just loiter, obviously, because you’ll look silly/homeless. This is, however, the perfect time to check all forms of social media. Make sure you haven’t missed any life-changing updates since you last logged on three minutes ago.
4/ Confidently forego for the handshake and opt for the distant wave. Otherwise you might find yourself in an awkward, clammy embrace. Handshakes aren’t an Asian thing anyway. Avoid hugs at all costs.
5/ Invest in a pair of massive sunglasses so you can hide a large portion of your shiny mirror face. Luckily, super-size sunnies are in this year, so you can pretend you’re a fashion guru when actually you’re quite sure you’re melting.
Good luck guys, stay strong, and remember – no matter how dire the over-heating situation, never resort to a hand held fan. No-one has ever pulled off this look successfully, and you’re not going to be the first.
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