In the run up to everyone’s favourite time of the year – need we clarify that we mean Valentine’s Day? – Coconuts HK has been absolutely bombarded with sickening suggestions as to how to spend the magical day from our dear friends in PR.
As some of the proposals were far less puke-worthy than others, we created a scale to differentiate between the okay, the pretty grim, and the absolutely terrible ways to celebrate Valentines’ Day in Hong Kong – The Good, The Bad and The Cringey.
THE GOOD
Party whatever your status at Bao Bei
Singletons who don’t fancy the tragic Bridget Jones wine-and-film night, and couples who can’t face the cheesiness of a candlelit dinner, might want to meet halfway at the traffic light party at Bao Bei (NB it’s actually the night before V-day, too). If you weren’t lucky enough to encounter this classic theme at many a raving year-six disco back in the day, all you need to know is this:
- Dress in green if you’re on the pull
- Dress in orange if you’re the kind of person who likes to keep their options open without committing to anyone (one indicator being you’ve genuinely set your Facebook relationship status to “it’s complicated”)
- Dress in red if you’re smitten (but actually not smitten enough to go on a proper date…)
Where: Bao Bei, B1/F, Carfield Commercial Building, 77 Wyndham Street, Central
When: 10pm onwards, Feb. 13
Price: First 100 girls: free entry + 1 drink / Men (sorry, lads): HKD100
Booking: On the door
Settle for “just” an amazing view at Wooloomooloo Prime
Forget all the fancy frills that make Valentines’ Day a pretty gross ordeal – why not ‘just’ treat each other to what Hong Kong does best: amazing views and damn good food. Whether you’d rather keep cosy inside the beautiful confinements of Wooloomooloo Prime, or savour the epic sights from its incredible terrace, it’s going to be a pretty spectacular four-course dinner either way.
Menu staples include a Seafood Medley starter, featuring Freshly-Shucked Oysters, Crystal Prawns, Scottish Crab Claws, Sea Scallops AND Lobster; Velvety Borlotti Beans Velouté Soup, served with Truffle and Crispy Parma Ham; Grilled Australian 200-day Grain-fed Black Angus Sirloin (probably tastes as fancy as it sounds) and Pan-Roasted Sea Bass served with Grilled Octopus.
Where: Wooloomooloo Prime (CWB), Level 27 & 28, Soundwill Plaza II – Midtown, 1 Tang Lung Street, Causeway Bay
When: Feb. 14
Price: HKD1,850 per couple (+10 percent too, obvs)
Bookings: Online / (+852) 2771-3600
Get a French kiss at Cocotte
Tucked away in the one of the quainter parts of the Central/SoHo area (a.k.a reasonably far from all the grim things going on in LKF this Feb. 14), Cocotte promises its diners a night of “très romantique charm” and six delectable courses of fine French cuisine this V-day.
Start your evening with the exquisite-sounding Langoustine, Pancetta and Asparagus Velouté or the succulent Beef Filet Carpaccio, Sea Urchin, Kohlrabi and Truffled Vinaigrette, before moving on to either Hokkaido Scallops, Red Beef Risotto, Fennel and Blue Lobster Emulsion or a decadent serving of Pan Seared Pigeon with Australian Cherries, Morels and Foie Gras. Cocotte’s funky décor and chilled vibe will also lend the place a slightly less chunder-worthy ambience than the typical set-up.
Where: Cocotte, 9 Shin Hing Street, Central
When: Feb. 14
Price: HKD888 per person
Booking: (+852) 2568-08857
Couples’ wine and dining OR singleton’s “love and lust” party at Lily & Bloom
Lily & Bloom is pulling out all the stops this Valentine’s and catering for very different kind of romantic rendezvous. Whether you’ve been happily wed for years or are a prolific Tinder troll on the very small Hong Kong dating scene, there’s scope to enjoy both “nights of passion”.
Lovers who fancy a romantic dinner for two can opt for the specially crafted five-course tasting menu (available Feb. 12-14). Alternatively, singletons might prefer to swing by the “Love and Lust” party at the 6/F cocktail lounge. The restaurant has teamed up with international dating app Coffee and Bagel to stage a night targeting “those looking for love”… Check it out if you’re a fan of organised fun.
Where: Lily & Bloom, 5/F & 6/F, LKF Tower, 33 Wyndham Street, Central
When: Dinner: Feb. 12-14 / “Love and Lust” Party: 8-10pm, Feb. 14
Price: Dinner: HKD1,095 + 10 percent per couple / “Love and Lust” Party: Free entry + 1 free cocktail
Booking: (+852) 2810-6166
Cut the lovey-dovey crap at The Chop House
Completely cynical couples, who find the concept of a romantic dinner nauseating (but who still can’t be bothered to cook), should join the similarly sceptical bunch at the Chop House. Instead of laying their tables with rose petals and ordering violinists to play the Titanic theme tune in the corner, the staff will be trying to retain the restaurant’s fun and casual vibe while serving up pure comfort grub.
The four-course menu on offer this V-day features Braised Beef Fingers, a hearty and fragrant Creamy Seafood Chowder, Grilled Australian Ribeye, Pan-fried Australian Salmon and Roasted Australian Rack of Lamb, ending on a luscious sounding Chocolate & Lemon Cake. Even though the restaurant’s trying to play down the lovey-dovey element, they’re still offering couples two complimentary glasses of mojito when they opt for the anti-Valentine’s set.
Where: The Chop House, Level 3 Soundwill Plaza II – Midtown, 1 Tang Lung Street, Causeway Bay
Price: HKD488 (+10 percent) per person (includes free Mojitos for every couple)
Booking: Online / (+852) 2771-3177
THE BAD
Selfie cookies & photo contest at One Minden Tapas Kitchen
What better way to top off a romantic meal for two than by tucking into a large chunk of… your face. The guys at One Minden Tapas Kitchen couldn’t just leave the “celebrations” at a four-course Valentines’ dinner, it seems.
First off, they’re encouraging diners to compete to take the most lovey-dovey post-gorging selfie (because a room full of selfie sticks really makes for a romantic ambience) for their “Share the Love” photo contest. Worse still, they’re also planning to present highly organised couples with a “Heart of Love” cookie – handcrafted and beautifully decorated with nothing other than the lovers’ faces. Hurl. Couples who fancy exhibiting their affection on a biscuit will need to provide their shot at least a week in advance.
Where: One Minden Tapas Kitchen, G/F, 1 Minden Avenue, Tsim Sha Tsui, Kowloon
Price: The cookie’s free when you splash out on the Valentines’ set menu, priced at HKD625 per person
Booking: (+852) 2722-1707
Lovers’ headphones
It’s a well-known fact that women, in particular, are suckers for practical gifts (not). The ingenious marketers at Furukawa Electric therefore hit gold when they tried to launch their latest product – overpriced fFlat5 wireless headphones – as the “ideal gifts for Valentines’ Day”. Apparently, there’s no better way to convince your man of your “eternal, pure and true love” this Feb. 14 than by buying him pair of white ear plugs. A true gentleman would also be stupid not to invest in a pair of purple “one in-ear” headphones for his Mrs., given how “gorgeous” she’d look with this “touch of glamour” in her life.
If you’re not already sold, remember the simple fact that “love songs leave each one’s lips to form everlasting impressions in each other’s heart”. Therefore, you should “let fFLAT5 headphones play the love songs for your sweetheart and take you and your beloved one to a world of eternal love and romance”… Just wow.
What: fFLAT5 headphones (a generous selection)
Price: Prices range from HKD680 – HKD1,980 (which is more expensive than any set menu on the list, FYI)
Ordering: Online
“Find your destiny” at Mrs. Pound
The majority of us don’t tend to question our relationship status on Valentine’s Day – it’s perhaps the one day of the year where we’re definitely single, or definitely not. Mrs. Pound, on the other hand, is striving to break all routine norms by hosting a “psychic” love event, inviting couples and singletons alike to come and discover if 2016 will hold “true love” for them.
Those at a loose end this Feb. 14 can soak up the extravagant trappings of the pretend ex-burlesque dancer’s quirky Sheung Wan haunt, as they listen to intimate visions of their future conquests through palm, face and card readings alike. Your destiny awaits, Coconauts.
Where: Mrs. Pound, 6 Pound Ln, Sheung Wan
When: 6pm onwards, Feb. 14
Booking: (+852) 3426-3949
THE CRINGEY
Pink, heart shaped pasta at Pirata
The chefs at Pirata have tried to make their Valentines’ Day six-course menu stand out from the rest this year by adding one, very “special” aesthetic element: bright pink, heart-shaped pasta shells. With every alarmingly fluorescent mouthful, lovers will be reminded of what this magical day is really all about: cringe, cringe, cringe. Better still, couples are actively encouraged to “share and channel Lady and the Tramp spoon feeding scenes” whilst they dine.
If you can stand all those PDA though, the menu sounds pretty awesome otherwise. Indulge in the likes of a shared Piatti Piccoli (featuring bresaola tolls, thyme scented ricotta, tomato, and rocket salad encased in cured aged beef), Warm Octopus Salad, Pumpkin Flan smothered with cheese fondue, Surf & Turf (which includes Pirata’s signature Butcher’s Cut steak), Boston Lobster, and Panna Cotta topped with homemade raspberry coulis to finish.
Where: Pirata, 30/F, 239 Hennessy Road, Wan Chai
When: Feb. 14
Price: HKD588 per person for the set menu (includes one free glass of prosecco to “blush the cheeks”, lol)
Booking: (+852) 2887-0270
Heart-shaped pizza’s at Carpaccio
The chefs at Carpaccio aren’t dyeing their pasta pink, but they’re doing something equally dodgy to their pizzas. From Feb. 11 onwards, love birds can indulge in the most intimate kind of comfort food – heart-shaped pizzas. Vom. You’re less likely to feel sick after one of Paisano’s greasy slices.
Their four-course Valentine’s menu sounds a little safer, and we dare say is probably better value than the hearty pizza. The dinner starts with Tasmanian Carpaccio, followed by a Tuscan Style Chickpea and Barley Soup with diver scallops, a vegetarian pasta or U.S tenderloin and king prawn, and a Sweetheart White Chocolate and Strawberry Mousse to finish.
Where: Carpaccio, Shop 307, 3rd Floor, iSQUARE, 63 Nathan Road, Tsim Sha Tsui
When: Feb. 11-14
Price: Four-course menu: HKD398 per head (+10 percent) / Pizza: HKD158
Booking: (+852) 2328-5202
Couples’ caricatures
Carpaccio’s partner restaurant, Spasso, will host a roaming caricaturist to enhance the romantic ambience (double vom). Couples are warned that sittings will be allocated on a first-come-first-serve basis, so you’ll probably want to start queuing days beforehand to be sure of nabbing that five-minutes of fun.
Even if they went for a rather weird entertainment option, Spasso haven’t done too badly with their menus. Diners for the first sitting (6pm – 8pm) can enjoy the likes of Mediterranean Sea Octopus Carpaccio, Borgotaro Porcini Mushrooms ‘Cappuccino’ with black truffle, Pan-Roasted Black Cod, braised Peter’s Farm Dutch Veal Cheek and Chocolate & Passion Fruit Mousse. Diners for the second sitting (from 8:30pm onwards) can savour all the same specialities, as well as “Aphrodisiac” Oysters, topped with lemon caviar and Grey Goose vodka.
Where: Spasso, G5-8, 12-17, Empire Centre, 68 Mody Road, Tsim Sha Tsui East, Kowloon
When: Feb. 14
Price: First sitting: HKD518 per person / Second sitting: HKD688 per person (both + 10 percent)
Booking: (+852) 2730-8027
Same sex waxing and “flirty toys” at W Hong Kong
In an attempt to be openly “all-accommodating” this Valentine’s, the W Hong Kong has drafted LGBT-specific suite packages with some pretty interesting elements. Their most expensive deal, the “DARE TO BE FABULOUS” Suite Package (totally subtle stereotyping there), includes “soothing same-sex waxing treatments” as the premium element – targeting the sadistic souls that find waxing “soothing” to get off on a cheeky back, sac and crack.
For those who aren’t so “daring”, the W has also put together a “LOVE RULES” package: aimed at couples who want to make “secret fantasies into spanking realities”. Instead of just doing the dirty at home, lovers can invest thousands of dollars in having someone place some “flirty toys” in a room for them – bargain! And should these fantasised acts require a little fuelling, guests can gain inspiration from the two romantic movies that come with the deal.
Perhaps just save the dollar (and your dignity) and “Netflix and chill”.
Where: W Hong Kong, 1 Austin Road West, Kowloon Station, Kowloon
When: “LOVE RULES”: Feb. 1-29 / “DARE TO BE FABULOUS”: until Dec. 30, 2016
Price: Prices start from HKD3,599 (+10 percent)
Booking: Online / (+852) 3717-2992
THE HIDEOUS
Buy your own proposal package at Morton’s of Chicago
This gem deserved a category of its own. If you really want to give your loved one a romantic proposal that they’ll never forget (and never forgive), let the team at the Morton rob you of 10 grand to have the all-important question written on a cheesy bunch of balloons.
The Sheraton’s award-winning Steak House has put together a pricey “Proposal Package” that includes every love-related cliché in the book: a heart-shaped box of chocolates, bouquets and balloons, not to mention that the date is bloody Valentine’s Day! The most romantic feature of the whole ordeal is that you’ll have absolutely nothing to do with it. You’ll neither have to plan the occasion, nor say anything at all: the magic moment happens when your lover stumbles across the balloons engraved with ‘Will U Marry Me’ in your hotel suite.
Where: Morton’s of Chicago Hong Kong, The Sheraton Hotel Hong Kong, 4th Level, 20 Nathan Road, Kowloon
When: Feb. 14
Price: Valentines’ Proposal Package: HKD9,999 (ring not included)
Booking: (+852) 2732-2343
Reader Interactions